Principle 1: Talk About Family
Before you say "I do"
Finding your life partner is a significant milestone. But it doesn’t just end with finding one another. Usually an engagement is seen as the time for wedding gown shopping, finding a church, hosting showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties. But if used wisely, your engagement can be a time to really get to know each other, not just in terms of dating, but in terms of spending your lives together year after year.
The questionnaire below is designed to start a conversation about what it means to be in a partnership. Once the enthusiasm of your engagement has settled, try to discuss and measure your expectations. Talk about things like your love language, how you save or spend your money, and how you view the responsibility of raising children.
We’ve listed questions touching areas that have proven the most challenging for lifelong marriages. Our desire is to help you discover more of who you are as a couple. Hopefully, that will create an atmosphere where you’ll always feel free to discuss marital issues well after you’ve said “I do!”
Also, it’s been said that we don’t just marry our beloved—we marry into a family. Your responses to this questionnaire will force you to consider what this means for each member of your family, and what it will mean for your marriage.
We encourage you to read the questions on your own and jot down your responses. Feel free to print a copy and write on that. Once both of you have completed your answers, share them with each other. If you are seeing a pastor or other counselor for pre-marital counseling, consider using your completed questionnaires as a basis for discussion.