Consider this: In ten short words, James sums up the essence of managing conflict and living in harmony: “Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” The truth is that most of us are slow to listen and quick to speak and get angry. Does your spouse ever say, “Are you listening to me?”

An important aspect of listening involves paying close attention to what your spouse is saying, and accepting the words, without condemnation, as your mate’s legitimate thoughts and feelings. By God’s grace and the power of the Holy Spirit, we can even learn to listen when it counts the most—in a conflict. God does not condemn anger, but He does condemn its rule over our lives and marriage. He gives sure direction for the godly control and expression of anger– teaching us to rule it rather than letting anger rule us.

Good communication needs an abundance of tender loving words. People in satisfying relationships learn to restrain their angry outbursts. Eliminating distractions and listening with direct, focused eye contact will help convey your care and concern. Attentive listening is a precious gift you can give to your spouse to build a bridge of understanding and effective communication.

Discuss: Have you found yourself in trouble lately for speaking too soon? How could you have avoided doing that?

One of the best ways to demonstrate God’s love is to listen to people.
BRUCE LARSEN

Building Relationships Across Nations | Bringing Christ to the Home